Web diary

Walking through the streets of Lismore this morning, I felt a very strange sensation. There’s something odd. I don’t feel normal. What is wrong with me? And then it hit me. I’m not stressed. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I am not in a constant state of stress. It’s so unusual, that I don’t know quite what to make of it. I have to get used to feeling this way. I can do things like hanging up the washing without a compelling sense of urgency and anxiety that the task is taking too long, because I should be doing something else. I have to get used to just being in the moment again and allowing things to take the time they require. I have to get used to the lack of adrenalin constantly rushing through my veins. Perhaps that is why I am drinking so much coffee at the moment. To keep the adrenalin rush happening. I have to accept that staying in bed longer than I need to is not a sign that I am depressed. It is merely a sign that I am resting. The deep and daily stress of making the film is finally beginning to drain out of my body.