Web diary

[The perpetrator] was with a customer outside, and I waited until he had finished, and then approached him. I told him that I wanted to talk to him about a personal matter and asked him to come outside. He did, and there I confronted him with my well rehearsed question: “I was wondering if you have thought about the woman that you assaulted in Orange Grove in December 1988”.

A look of horror came onto his face, and he said “excuse me. Which woman?” My response “that woman was my mother” didn’t have the affect I had hoped it would. He just said, “Who’s your mother?” And then he asked “If you don’t mind me asking, when you say assaulted her, in what way?” I replied “sexually assaulted” and he responded “Oh do me a favour. Definitely not.” From there on it was a barrage of vehement denial. It was extremely difficult to stay on the story in the face of the denials like “I swear to God, on my son’s life, I don’t know what you are talking about”.

When I introduced the concept that his father had spoken to the police, he invited me to come upstairs and he rang his father. His father immediately went into a barrage of anger, and when he handed the phone to me, the father began swearing at me. At this point, the doubts of whether this was the wrong person faded. His father’s reaction was so extreme and so angry and volatile, that it seemed to me to be masking some guilt and perhaps some terrible knowledge. [The attacker's] brother came into the office at this point, and one of his first questions was: “How did you find him?” At that point I became aware of being very vulnerable in this upstairs office with these two brothers and wondered if they would try to harm me. I asked [the perpetrator] to meet me at the restaurant and left. But he came outside and told me he wasn’t coming and continued to deny the assault. He did ask me one other strange question: “what was I wearing?” This seemed to me a question prompted by his father and seemed odd. I am certain that the attacker was covered in blood that night and would have destroyed his clothes. Perhaps that is why he asked that question. He agreed to talk to my mother and said he would cooperate with the police and I left. I felt extremely sick and distressed, and totally drained by the experience. I just wanted to crawl into a deep hole. But I know I have to stick by my belief in Laura’s certainty and just follow the story through now and see where it will lead.