Web diary

This story must be about to reach its climax – some turning point. Things can’t just keep getting worse and worse, without something positive happening.

We went to the hospital to see the orthopaedic surgeon who confirmed there is nothing he can do about her arm except give her some pills for the inflammation and pain and wait for nature to heal it itself. When Laura insisted that that was not good enough, the surgeon suggested physiotherapy, which upset her even more because that means more visits to the hospital.

Laura keeps muttering, “When will it all end?” She is angry at the doctors, the perpetrator and the universe. I do understand her rage and despair but I can’t help her overcome it – it has to come from somewhere inside her.

Laura needs three basic things before I can help her:
1. acceptance of what has happened
2. hope for the future
3. trust in me and others who are trying to help her.

She has none of these, and says she cannot find or manufacture these ingredients in her present state.

I want her to have peace, I want her suffering to end. She sees NO joy at all in living. I cannot impose that on her. I have tried for three weeks. Without joy, hope, acceptance and trust, I don’t think a person CAN live in this world. I certainly couldn’t.